


Am I still

by astr0cat



Category: British Actor RPF, Loki and the Loon, Loki: Agent of Asgard, Thor: The Dark World - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Why am i writing so many painful things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-05 05:07:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6690904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astr0cat/pseuds/astr0cat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Inspirational song: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uPFwKdVe3J8</p>
    </blockquote>





	Am I still

**Author's Note:**

> Inspirational song: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uPFwKdVe3J8

The god brought his fist down upon the enemy in front of him, raining punch after punch on the face of the opponent. A sickening crunch sounded from below him and he felt a satisfying feeling stir up inside his gut, pride.

He let a triumphant smirk bubble up onto his lips. Swiftly tugging a dagger from his belt, he shoved the sharp blade between the enemy's ribs, his ear right beside those parted lips, taking in the sweet, pained gasp they let loose.

The creature pushed him back, much to Loki's surprise, nothing had ever pushed him away in such a manner. It was...a restrained push, like the entity didn't want to wound him. It baffled the god.

The ravenette blinked before narrowing his verdant eyes, the dagger he had previously used still embedded within the side of the foe. Loki watched with a curious gaze as a pair of shaking hands tugged it free and threw it to the ground. Those same hands reached out to him, fingers shaking. At this point, the ravenette was beyond puzzled, he was appalled by the events unfolding before his eyes. Yet he did not let on, nor show any mercy. 

Another dagger, ready and waiting in his slender fingers. Without a second's hesitation, he flung himself at the attacker. The lifeform went to dart out of the way but was kept sluggish due to the injury already inflicted upon it, this new found slowness didn't get it out of the way in time and Loki's blade pierced through the flesh if its abdomen, sinking into the skin easily.

An audible grunt was heard before the thing slumped against the god.

Loki went to move away but a shimmer of lavender caught his eyes. Baby blue eyes met his and the ravenette froze, still as a stone.

An illusion.

It had been an illusion the _whole time._

Thomas stood before him, scarlet sleeping from his wounds as he glanced up at Loki, eyes glazing over. Crimson coated his mouth as he coughed, the blood that had risen like bile seemingly choking the human.

Tom's legs shook and he slipped to the side, staggering and almost falling to his knees but Loki caught him. He caught him and held him, sinking to his knees with the brunette held tightly in his arms. His mortal shook, trembled as the scarlet liquid bubbled up to his lips and trickled down his chin.

The stench of blood wisped away as Loki began to recall, memories arising from the depths of his mind.

His mortal came bounding up to him after a hard day’s work, long arms outstretched as he bounced up to the god and brought his arms around his shoulders. He was nothing but smiles and Loki couldn't resist the urge to return the grin. Tom’s curls brushed his chin before he looked down and brought his lips to the forehead that rested just below those beautiful, irresistible locks of chestnut.

Thomas turned his gaze up, tilting his head back so he could take in Loki’s expression. His smile was so lovely, so sweet that it could thaw the coldest ice block. It made the ravenette feel so tender, so loving and happy as he gazed upon its flawlessness. 

He leaned down to kiss the brunette but his mortal’s image began to fade, swirl into the background. The smile still played at his lips as he began to dissipate and fade into the air itself. Loki reached out, pale hands desperately wanting to grab onto something, to keep Thomas down on the ground but to no avail.

Reality hit him hard when he was forced to look at Tom’s bloody, limp body within his arms. His hand weakly reaching out for Loki, his eyes pleading, forgiving. 

With a heavy heart, the ravenette reached for the outstretched palm, it was already beginning to cool when his fingertips brushed it. 

Softly, he laced their fingers, bringing the cold palm to rest on his cheek while he brought his own hand to rest on his mortal's curls. Thomas smiled softly at the gesture, his eyes dull and full of shadow. 

Loki had no words to say, he didn't know what to say and if he did he didn't know how to say it. So he cried, he whimpered and leaned into the human’s hand, keeping his eyes open so he could see all of Thomas before it was yanked away from him.

“Please don't go,” he pleaded, begging very unbecoming of him but...but there was nothing else he could do, “please don't go, Thomas.” The brunette opened his mouth to speak, crimson rolling off his tongue “why did you do it, love? Did-” Tom had to take a wheeze, the ability to breathe becoming something difficult, “did I...make you angry?” Loki clung onto the body in front of him, nuzzling his face into the shoulder resting before his face “no, dear. I...I could never be angry with you,” the god took a moment to fight to regain control of his breath, “an illusion.”

Thomas looked at him for a second, eyes seemingly confused. “You looked like...it doesn't matter. You didn't look like you, I saw you as an enemy. I'm so sorry.” On the last sentence Loki began to sob, emotional pain coursing through him. Tom's palm slowly slipped down his face, it would have fallen if not for the god holding tightly onto it. “What do I look like right now…?” the brunette asked softly, the question so random that the ravenette had to look up at him. “Am I...am I still Tom?”

He was anything but “still Tom”, he was dying, he was bloody, his orbs were lacking that vibrant emotion of life. He didn't look like himself at all.

None the less, Loki still bobbed his head “yes, you are still my Thomas. You are beautiful, flawless. You continue to hold even the elegance and foolishness I came to love within you.” the mortal smiled weakly up at him, eyes beginning to drop from the deadly fatigue. “And you're still the handsome, devlish porcelain beauty I came to adore,” there was a pause, a breath, “even your recklessness remains, but that's not a bad thing. I love everything about you.” Loki's brows scrunched up as he screwed his eyes shut, forcing them open after only a second “I too love everything about you, Thomas.”

The ravenette’s pale hand cradles the human’s back, supporting him, his other hand squeezing the tan palm tightly as he stared miserably down into Tom's dying eyes. “I'm happy.” Loki forced a laugh from the depths of his throat “you always were, my kitten.” A small chuckle erupted from below him, barely heard. “And….you…” Panic began to arise within the god’s chest but he willed himself to remain calm, for Tom's sake. “I am happy if you are. Your joy is mine, and mine yours.”

There was another grin but no words, just the movement of lips singing out the unheard syllables.

“I love you too.”


End file.
